hoperaider | [Text] 09th Page

[Text] 09th Page

[Hello, Pokeland. This is actually not Jake's 'gear that he's using at the moment, but one Dirk Strider's. He kind of borrowed it.]

I'm Dirk Strider and I have an irony problem.
I also have a problem of equestrian nature, but I'm too fucking cool to get into the gory details.
My friends are awesome, but I'm too proud to admit it to their faces or some shit.
Dave's movies are fucking awesome, fight me.
Anime is great, even if a certain goober can't pronounce the fucking name right.
What else.
Oh.
I throw Pokedexes at people who sing annoying as hell and or catchy songs.
I also snore like a hedgehog and sneeze like a kitten.
Carry on, Johto.

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[Oh no he didn't. And this, of course, is coming from Jake's gear. Guess what he found lying around?]

Oh, you fucking dick.

Jake, please.
Don't make fun of my name.

Jake?
Consarn it, of course i am the one and only jake english.
I dont know how bloody awesome dave striders films are because im too busy being confounded by weekend at bernies and the lovely nearly naked ladies that are occasionally found in examples of cinema i refuse to believe suck!!!
I dont know where id be without my good friend dirk.
Probably lost somewhere in goldenrod misgendering a pokemon while i asked it for directions.

[Ohjesus Jake is just not sure he's able to handle Dirk using his lingo. It's just too fucking funny.]

It's not like Robin Williams even objected to the mistake.
Also, the only movies I find good are the ones involving ponies and oddly muscular rabbits.
We're not getting into Dave's films since we can both agree all of his films are fucking rad.
Don't even get me started on music or we'll be here all day long.

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[Bro is just going to sit here not indulging them in these childish games as he watches.

Except not really, when he actually realizes what's going on once Dirk responds. He can't resist not getting all up in this once he does.]

sup im dave
im in need of a spoon to stir my love batter
any takers

[Bro why. He's going to kill you. So fine. Have a retort.]
hold on there lil bro.
thats not something you talk about in public.
also love batter?
i taught you to be more original than that.

wow bro since when are you such a prude
i wanna talk all about my love batter
and them babies im not makin with it
im totally original
my love batter is a strider originality
cant reverse engineer this stuff

you know what happens when you whip it out in front of people.
ill give you a hint its not applause.
not being a prude either.
seeing as you flipped your shit when i even mentioned it.

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wrong icon before

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hehehe

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[Yes, good, Bro, join in on this!]

Dave, why.

why what
this was a general call for stirring
it doesnt extend to my bro
so no incesto

I wasn't even going to offer.
I was just asking why you're even asking for it in the first place.

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/Thread JACK

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[Private to Dave, Bro]

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[Somehow John gets the feeling that this isn't Dirk...leaving it to be either Jake or Jane. He's inclined to say Jane just because it seems like the sort of prankstery thing that his teen Nanna would do.]

[And if that's the case, well then...let him just change his ID name real quick and get in on the fun.]

Equestrian and chumpal communication problems on top of the familial irony issues? Well that certainly isn't good.
And this desire to chuck Pokedexes may be indicative of deeper-seated anger issues which really should be addressed before you go postal on our asses.
Come Dirk, I think it would be best if you came to my metaphorical office for some metaphoripsychotheripification. Lay down on the couch, I am sure you will find it both metaphorically and adequately comfortable.
Now which problem would you like to address first, Mister Strider?

Edited 2013-02-23 03:04 (UTC)

I almost hit English square in the face with it.
But that's only because I'm a sore loser since he sang It's a Small World.
Which should we start with? I've got piles of them all over the fucking place.

In the future, you might want to aim somewhere other than the face. Breaking his glasses would be terrible.
I would say let's start with your irony pile since you mentioned it first but we'll be here all day if we do that.
so let's mix it up a bit. Start from the bottom.
Have you considered nasal strips for that snoring problem of yours?

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hey lil mama let me whisper in yo ear.

about how we will never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever have sex!!!
i will never touch the butt!
or the boobs!
never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever.
okay?!
this will be the most platonic of marriages you have ever and will ever be a part of.
in fact i think i might cut off my hands just so i will never feel the urge to touch things my hands do not belong on!!

But John!
Even after I touched your butt? I mean, spanking was involved even.
And you would leave it a one sided affair?

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oh man FINALLY!
someone who truly appreciates the japanese masterpiece that is anime.
and that might actually watch it with me unlike A CERTAIN BEST BRO THAT I COULD NAME.
when we meet up again you and i should totally sit down and watch some.
i mean, we should really start getting to know each other.
you're dave and rose's teen dad, and best friends of my nanna and jake.
that's all kind of important!

Edited 2013-02-23 04:06 (UTC)

I'll take you under my anime-style wing and lead you down this road of awesome animes to watch.
You're talking to the guru of everything Japanese.

o-oh my.
are you saying that
senpai
has noticed me?
my anime heart is going doki doki dirk.

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Hi Dirk-chan~! ヽ(^o^) What kind of irony problem do you have, ne?

I like animes too although not as much as Renge-chan...!

[Yes, good, someone to completely ruin Dirk's reputation with.]

If I say something's ironic, then that makes it cool.
It's a problem of mine.

Oh, yeah? What's your favorite, then?

[ Jake plz. ]

Is that how it works~? I'm not sure that's right, but if you think so!

I like any of them with rabbits in them, ne~! Those are the cutest.

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[ After reading all of this, Valeria really only has one thing to ~~type~~ say to the lot of you, and it's ~~said~~ typed with a considerable bit of affection. ]

You're all goobers.

Striders are not goobers.

[Jake is having a fair laugh over this, though.]

Aren't you a little biased to be making that sort of declaration, Dirk?

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