[Text] 09th Page

[hoperaider]

[Hello, Pokeland. This is actually not Jake's 'gear that he's using at the moment, but one Dirk Strider's. He kind of borrowed it.]

I'm Dirk Strider and I have an irony problem.
I also have a problem of equestrian nature, but I'm too fucking cool to get into the gory details.
My friends are awesome, but I'm too proud to admit it to their faces or some shit.
Dave's movies are fucking awesome, fight me.
Anime is great, even if a certain goober can't pronounce the fucking name right.
What else.
Oh.
I throw Pokedexes at people who sing annoying as hell and or catchy songs.
I also snore like a hedgehog and sneeze like a kitten.
Carry on, Johto.

Comments

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Bro is just going to sit here not indulging them in these childish games as he watches.





Except not really, when he actually realizes what's going on once Dirk responds. He can't resist not getting all up in this once he does.]

sup im dave
im in need of a spoon to stir my love batter
any takers

[moveslikestrider]

[Bro why. He's going to kill you. So fine. Have a retort.]
hold on there lil bro.
thats not something you talk about in public.
also love batter?
i taught you to be more original than that.

[plushaeusrumpified]

wow bro since when are you such a prude
i wanna talk all about my love batter
and them babies im not makin with it
im totally original
my love batter is a strider originality
cant reverse engineer this stuff

[moveslikestrider]

you know what happens when you whip it out in front of people.
ill give you a hint its not applause.
not being a prude either.
seeing as you flipped your shit when i even mentioned it.

[ghostytrainer]

totally read that as applesauce

[moveslikestrider]

geeze, dave talk about a one track mind!
but guess what.

[ghostytrainer]

apples are the best txt it
especially if theyre in juice form
holy shit i could drink my weight in apple juice on a daily basis
and then some
damn do i love apple juice

no but ok what egbert

[moveslikestrider]

its piss, dave.
and i did it.
its the first thing i do every morning!

[ghostytrainer]

goddammit egbert
i am going to piss on everything you love

[moveslikestrider]

what.
even your sister??

[plushaeusrumpified]

me flip my shit??
hahahahahahaha
im dave fucking strider and i do not flip my shits
im the calmest most chill dude you ever saw
the number of shits ive flipped in my lifetime is nil
numero zero
i learned to keep my cool from the fuckin best

[moveslikestrider]

Dave, please.
We both know that you 'lose it' quite easily when the right buttons are pressed.

[plushaeusrumpified]

guuuuurl
this is between me and bro
step off and go mack on your boy toy ok

[moveslikestrider]

You know I can never resist the siren call of perfect time to observe and continue to write my thesis on your psychie and our father's.
It's a truly fascinating topic.
You can hardly blame me for answering the call.

[plushaeusrumpified]

you shouldnt be listening to any calls
especially not those calls
calls lead to bad things
go answer the call of jesus
and put on a chastity belt while youre there
the sirens will only lead you astray
go go go

[moveslikestrider]

Not at all, it gives me some interesting insight into your mind.
Might I ask why you're being so protective?

[hoperaider]

[Yes, good, Bro, join in on this!]

Dave, why.

[plushaeusrumpified]

why what
this was a general call for stirring
it doesnt extend to my bro
so no incesto

[hoperaider]

I wasn't even going to offer.
I was just asking why you're even asking for it in the first place.

[plushaeusrumpified]

cuz my bro thinks i should get some
so im trying to get some
i should always listen to my bro after all
dont you think?
hes totally smart and shit
knows what hes talking about

[hoperaider]

Man, I have some weird rivalry with the dude.
Don't talk to me about how cool he is (spoilers: he is actually pretty cool).

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Hold on he is screencapping this for later use even if he knows it's Jake.]

omg i know right
lets talk about how cool he is
you start first
go

[hoperaider]

[Excellent, send Jake a copy just in case.]

The hat.
It just adds to that cool guy image.
I can't handle it, especially since I'm in my 'my hair must be utterly perfect and I can't wear hats because it'll ruin it' phase.
This, of course, doesn't stop me from stockpiling them.

[plushaeusrumpified]

you stockpile hats?
oh my god what a precious kawaii uguu
but man yeah hats are fucking rad
who would ever wanna have weird animu hair when they can have a hat
you should wear a hat like bro
it just makes your cool guy levels fly off the fuckin chart
we should glue a hat to your head

[hoperaider]

Only if the hat somehow involved a certain rainbow pegasus pony.
Because fuck everything, she's the best pony and my favorite out of all of them.