[Text] 09th Page

[hoperaider]

[Hello, Pokeland. This is actually not Jake's 'gear that he's using at the moment, but one Dirk Strider's. He kind of borrowed it.]

I'm Dirk Strider and I have an irony problem.
I also have a problem of equestrian nature, but I'm too fucking cool to get into the gory details.
My friends are awesome, but I'm too proud to admit it to their faces or some shit.
Dave's movies are fucking awesome, fight me.
Anime is great, even if a certain goober can't pronounce the fucking name right.
What else.
Oh.
I throw Pokedexes at people who sing annoying as hell and or catchy songs.
I also snore like a hedgehog and sneeze like a kitten.
Carry on, Johto.

Comments

[shippingmath]

[Oh no he didn't. And this, of course, is coming from Jake's gear. Guess what he found lying around?]

Oh, you fucking dick.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Bro is just going to sit here not indulging them in these childish games as he watches.





Except not really, when he actually realizes what's going on once Dirk responds. He can't resist not getting all up in this once he does.]

sup im dave
im in need of a spoon to stir my love batter
any takers

[hoperaider]

Jake, please.
Don't make fun of my name.

[moveslikestrider]

[Bro why. He's going to kill you. So fine. Have a retort.]
hold on there lil bro.
thats not something you talk about in public.
also love batter?
i taught you to be more original than that.

[hoperaider]

[Yes, good, Bro, join in on this!]

Dave, why.

text from ID Rose Lalonde

[ghostytrainer]

[Somehow John gets the feeling that this isn't Dirk...leaving it to be either Jake or Jane. He's inclined to say Jane just because it seems like the sort of prankstery thing that his teen Nanna would do.]

[And if that's the case, well then...let him just change his ID name real quick and get in on the fun.]

Equestrian and chumpal communication problems on top of the familial irony issues? Well that certainly isn't good.
And this desire to chuck Pokedexes may be indicative of deeper-seated anger issues which really should be addressed before you go postal on our asses.
Come Dirk, I think it would be best if you came to my metaphorical office for some metaphoripsychotheripification. Lay down on the couch, I am sure you will find it both metaphorically and adequately comfortable.
Now which problem would you like to address first, Mister Strider?

[plushaeusrumpified]

wow bro since when are you such a prude
i wanna talk all about my love batter
and them babies im not makin with it
im totally original
my love batter is a strider originality
cant reverse engineer this stuff

[shippingmath]

Jake?
Consarn it, of course i am the one and only jake english.
I dont know how bloody awesome dave striders films are because im too busy being confounded by weekend at bernies and the lovely nearly naked ladies that are occasionally found in examples of cinema i refuse to believe suck!!!
I dont know where id be without my good friend dirk.
Probably lost somewhere in goldenrod misgendering a pokemon while i asked it for directions.

[plushaeusrumpified]

why what
this was a general call for stirring
it doesnt extend to my bro
so no incesto

[hoperaider]

I almost hit English square in the face with it.
But that's only because I'm a sore loser since he sang It's a Small World.
Which should we start with? I've got piles of them all over the fucking place.

[moveslikestrider]

you know what happens when you whip it out in front of people.
ill give you a hint its not applause.
not being a prude either.
seeing as you flipped your shit when i even mentioned it.

[ghostytrainer]

totally read that as applesauce

[plushaeusrumpified]

me flip my shit??
hahahahahahaha
im dave fucking strider and i do not flip my shits
im the calmest most chill dude you ever saw
the number of shits ive flipped in my lifetime is nil
numero zero
i learned to keep my cool from the fuckin best

[hoperaider]

[Ohjesus Jake is just not sure he's able to handle Dirk using his lingo. It's just too fucking funny.]

It's not like Robin Williams even objected to the mistake.
Also, the only movies I find good are the ones involving ponies and oddly muscular rabbits.
We're not getting into Dave's films since we can both agree all of his films are fucking rad.
Don't even get me started on music or we'll be here all day long.

[moveslikestrider]

geeze, dave talk about a one track mind!
but guess what.

[hoperaider]

I wasn't even going to offer.
I was just asking why you're even asking for it in the first place.

[plushaeusrumpified]

cuz my bro thinks i should get some
so im trying to get some
i should always listen to my bro after all
dont you think?
hes totally smart and shit
knows what hes talking about

[shippingmath]

[Then imagine how everyone else feels when Jake uses it.]

No, dirk, you should totally tell me about your amazing taste in music.
I respect and admire your ability to select the coolest of beats.
I also respect your slick ironic talent because jumping jehoshaphat i sure do not understand it at all!

[ghostytrainer]

apples are the best txt it
especially if theyre in juice form
holy shit i could drink my weight in apple juice on a daily basis
and then some
damn do i love apple juice

no but ok what egbert

[moveslikestrider]

Dave, please.
We both know that you 'lose it' quite easily when the right buttons are pressed.

[moveslikestrider]

its piss, dave.
and i did it.
its the first thing i do every morning!

[plushaeusrumpified]

guuuuurl
this is between me and bro
step off and go mack on your boy toy ok

[moveslikestrider]

You know I can never resist the siren call of perfect time to observe and continue to write my thesis on your psychie and our father's.
It's a truly fascinating topic.
You can hardly blame me for answering the call.

[hoperaider]

[With Jake, it's endearing. With Dirk? Comedy gold.]

Is this an invitation to talk about bands people have rarely heard about?
Is it, Jake?

[plushaeusrumpified]

you shouldnt be listening to any calls
especially not those calls
calls lead to bad things
go answer the call of jesus
and put on a chastity belt while youre there
the sirens will only lead you astray
go go go