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[Video/Text] 01st Page

[Okay, so, Jake accidentally hit a few buttons, so have fun watching what looks like John Egbert having a hard time with an overly affectionate Emolga. At least, it's only for a few seconds. It kind of cuts out to text when he falls down on the ground.]

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[After a couple moments more, there is a proper text message.]

Jiminy frigging christmas are these pokemon things always so enthusiastic to meet new people?
Jeez.
I apologize for that spot of trouble but the rapscallion wouldnt take no for an answer!
Or stay for that matter.
At any rate is this perchance a dream bubble?
If it is its the weirdest one ive been in yet!

{OOC: It's also action for anybody in New Bark Town.}

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I fucking knew it! ["Just a baked goods company" they said. "Not actually a real person" they said. "Calme down, John" they said. But look who's calm now!? Wait that didn't make any sense.] The Batterwitch has her gnarled claws in e-- wait did you say you guys call her the Batterwitch?

[Because as far as he knew, that was just something he did.]

[Jake nods.]

Well, Dirk Strider, Roxy Lalonde, and me call her that. I'm not terribly sure about Jane since she's had no clue that she's been brainwashed by her.

[He likes the sound of these Dirk and Roxy people. Finally people who understand.]

Brainwashed?! Jeez...it doesn't really surprise me but poor Jane, all the same.

[They are awesome, don't let Eridan say otherwise.]

Well, she's smart and tough, so I'm not terribly worried about her. I think she'll be okay.

[Like John ever listens to Eridan anyway. Dude is kind of a major tooly douchebag wrapped up in fishy arrogance.]

Mmm... Man, this is a lot to take in at once. Okay so...basically for whatever reason...we are all flip-flopped in your session? Or...well I guess technically we're flip-flopped no matter which way you look at it. How the hell did that happen though? I'm kind of confused here.

A good question, but I don't have an answer to that. Maybe something at the beginning of the game changed?

Maybe... [He trails off.] This whole thing is just kinda weird. Like, I made all of us as babies and even I don't have any clue what's going on. Though maybe it's just because I'm kind of behind everybody else, chronologywise.

[No John, you just never have a clue. That's kind of your thing.]

So what can you tell me then? About like...future alternate universe John and friends?

Well, I'm honestly not sure about your life in my universe. Jane would know. As for Jade...well, I didn't get to know my grandma very well. She was a technological genius, but she was murdered when I was young, so I didn't get a chance to ask her anything about her life before coming to the island.

Dave and Rose became famous, though. Rose is the author of the Complacency of the Learned series, and Dave is famous for being the creator of the Sweet Bro & Hella Jeff movies.

[omg you suck, Jake.]

Wait what?! Jade was murdered? How? Why?!

[Calm down, john. It's not YOUR Jade, okay? It's going to be okay.]

[It's not his fault he fails at connect-the-dots.]

I don't really know how. I sort of found her one night like that. And I don't know why, either, but Dirk guesses that it was because she'd been openly fighting against the Condesce.

[John just looks incredibly sad at that. Jade, why?]

That's terrible...but I guess in a way it kind of...fits? Jade's grandpa...which I guess is technically you, died when she was really young too. I have no idea how but Bec ended up taking care of her after that.

I suppose. Still, I would've liked to have gotten to know her better. Though, between here and Sburb, I'd probably meet her regardless.

Bec...her dog with the weird powers?

Yup! That's Bec! He was actually here for a little while too, as a human. But it's good that both of you are getting the chance to meet each other in person. At roughly the same age, no less.

Fascinating! A shame I missed him. And, yes, it'll be a wonderful experience, I think!

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